We’re going to do a short series on Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you don’t have the book, the link has a way to buy it and/or download it straight to your Kindle. If you need another version, Google is your friend.
Why Are We Talking About a 75 Year Old Book?
The lessons from Carnegie’s book apply more to help you influence social media than you’d expect. The technology has changed but the fundamental truths about people have not. Just to get you interested, let’s pull a few ideas from the book:
Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important.”
Think about the last person who made you feel important. Was it a child? A parent or spouse? Pretend you receive this Tweet later today: “@yourname THANK YOU for your site. I am now fulltime with my business because of your book!” If you get that Tweet or Facebook message, how do you feel? You feel great! It doesn’t matter if you’re a famous author or a first timer with an e-book. You, your words and thoughts, changed someone’s life. You feel important. What if that same person asked you a question about one of your ideas? ”@yourname Q – do you think it’s more important I get everything right now or just jump in? Thanks!” You are WAY more likely to answer and create a conversation with that person than you are the guy who randomly tweeted you the same question 12 hours earlier.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Influence Social Media
One of the most famous quotes from Carnegie’s book not only reiterates the above advice but adds to it. ”Become genuinely interested” in someone else. Do it this week – find someone on social media who inspires you. Maybe it’s a friend you’ve lost touch with or a colleague or just someone you’d like to know better. Read what they write, talk with them about their ideas, comment positively on something they want feedback on. Become genuinely interested in someone else and they will become genuinely interested in you. Finally…
The New York Telephone Company made a detailed study of telephone conversations to find out which word is the most frequently used. You have guessed it: it is the personal pronoun “I.” It was used 3,900 times in 500 telephone conversations. “I…I…I…” When you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first?
Ask yourself – do you love those people? Do you love the people who only talk about themselves? Of course you don’t. Yet, 90% of us ARE that person. We just don’t realize it. An average of 8 times per phone call … in the 1920s. You can only imagine that people average 100s of “I’s” a day now.
Anytime you break that pattern in your social sphere, you’re going to stand out. People will notice you. This book describes fully how to make friends (on social media) and (grow your) influence (over) people. We will be studying it so read up!
A short outline of How to Win Friends is available at the Wiki page.
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The Mindset, Skillset, Dataset Approach to Social Media
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